Sunday, March 4, 2012


Lately, I feel idle.  I loathe the feeling.  All my adult life I've craved a sense of purpose; a sense that I'm making some measurable degree of progress towards realizing my ultimate potential - whatever that may be.  It's said that a shark must keep moving to avoid drowning.  It's a peculiar parallel when I think about it.  A shark is the top of the food chain in its world and yet the very element that gives it life can end that life, simply due to of a lack of progression. More than anyone I know, I'm in charge of my life - at the top of my own food chain so to speak.  And yet like the shark, the seemingly simple act of resting can drag my spirit into a steep downward spiral.  If I'm not on the move, I get the feeling I'm drowning in a sea of mediocrity.

I've privately struggled with this for years and I've been searching my mind to put into words exactly what I feel.  The closest I've come to resolving these thoughts is the summation that deep down, I have this subconscious fear that the man I ultimately become will face the man I could have been.  I can't think of a more terrifying prospect.